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wedding tips - part I
Go to part II
CONGRATULATIONS - You're Engaged!
The first thing you must do is announce your engagement. Tradition dictates you tell your parents first, followed by any family members and then your friends. Some couples also choose to make a general announcement in one of the daily newspapers (check www.theage.com.au, www.heraldsun.com.au, www.theaustralian.com.au, www.smh.com.au for details)
An engagement party often follows the announcement, be it a large party or simply a dinner with close family and friends.
SELECTING YOUR RING
The rings that are exchanged in the course of a wedding symbolise your enduring love and commitment to one another as since a ring is round, it never ends.
Traditionally, the man buys their fiancé an engagement ring, but often this is selected together. Many couples today are opting for something other than the traditional white diamond, whether it be a pink diamond or a different precious stone such as a sapphire or emerald. Some brides even choose rings with their birth stone.
Rings can be pre-designed, custom made, even estate pieces - if you love the more old fashioned styles, don't be shy to check out a couple of the auction houses when searching for your perfect ring. But if you are looking for a diamond, be it white, pink, or even champagne, keep in mind the 'Four C's'; Carat, Cut, Colour and Clarity. These determine the value of the stone, and an experienced jeweller will be able to explain each of these features to you. Generally the larger the diamond, the more it will cost; however a smaller stone with fewer flaws can be more costly than a larger, slightly flawed stone.
SETTING THE DATE
Many aspects will need to be considered when you set the date for your wedding. This should be considered in line with your budget requirements and also the style of wedding you would like. For example, if you would like a traditional wedding in a place of worship, you need to consider the availability of the place of worship and the chosen officiator. If you would like a garden wedding, weather and the time of year is an important consideration.
Budget can also dictate where and when your wedding takes place; a backyard wedding will be cheaper than one carried out in the gardens of Rippon Lea! Saturday weddings often cost more than Friday and Sunday weddings and public and religious holidays will also have a bearing on your decision. Photographic opportunities should also be considered; summer days are long offering more time in which to take photographs with less chance of being rained out! However, winter weddings are often less expensive and are ideal for those wishing to honeymoon in the northern hemisphere who are experiencing summer!
BUDGET
The first step in planning your actual wedding should be establishing a budget. The budget calculator here on Our Day has an example budget for a moderately expensive wedding. This is so important as often things will cost more than you originally anticipated and compromise may be required.
A key thing to remember is that if your families have offered to help with some of the cost, it is important to include them in your decisions.
STYLE
Whether you plan it from the outset or not, your wedding will generally have a style or theme to it that often reflects the taste of you, your partner and often your two families. Some weddings are traditional and true to the culture of the bride and groom. Others are modern, with the ceremony carried out in reception centres, restaurants, gardens, wineries, the beach, or even skydiving from a plane! What is important is that the style of your wedding reflects your lives and your loves. Many couples are no longer choosing their attendants based on their gender - female groomsmen and male bridesmaids are not uncommon.
Themed weddings are also popular; Morning Dress at Ascot, Medieval and even Gothic weddings are more and more often lending a special personal touch to people's weddings.
CEREMONY
The ceremony is the important and most meaningful part of your day, whether it be a civil or religious ceremony. It gives you and your partner an opportunity to declare you love for each other in front of family and friends. There are many ways to personalise your ceremony; a string quartet, church bells, your favourite music recording, poetry readings- one woman in China actually performed an aerobic routine for her husband because they met at a gym!
Some religions require you to partake in pre-marital counselling and some places of worship will not perform the ceremony unless both parties are members of the religion - it is important to look into these matters before you get your heart set on a certain venue.
THE RECEPTION
The reception is often the informal part of the day and gives you and your guests a chance to relax and celebrate - much of you planning (and your budget) will go towards your reception. The choice of venue for your reception is limited only by your imagination… and your budget! Many hotels, art galleries, wineries, wildlife reserves, parks, even cruise ships are available for hire, and many of these often have their own function co-ordinator who will help you plan your reception down to the last detail. An alternative would be to hire a marquee and have the reception in your home - there are many caterers who are able to accommodate travelling around, as well as dietary requirements such as kosher or halal cooking. Many of the big city hotels, such as the Grand Hyatt in Melbourne also offer kosher kitchen services.
Other important points to consider when choosing your reception venue is the style of wedding you are having and the number of guests you intend to invite - there's nothing worse than having either too few guests swamped by the size of the room, or too many squeezed in! Further, the proximity of your ceremony, reception and photography locations is an important consideration, as is your mode of transport between them. Consider the time of day and the time of year - is there a football match on that will slow the traffic? A street festival? These points are important to consider to reduce the chances of you getting stressed on your big day.
It is advisable to book your reception as soon as possible - many book out very quickly and months in advance.
Also consider parking options for both the wedding cars and the guests at both the ceremony and the reception. In addition, accommodation options for you for your wedding night, and any interstate visitors is also an important consideration.
DECORATION
Decorations often follow the chosen style or theme of your wedding - floral arrangements mad up of the same flowers, of the same colour as the bridesmaids dresses etc. Some couples go for traditional classic colours such as creams and soft pinks; others more vibrant colours, such as violets and bright orange. A novel idea we've seen for a table centre piece is a gold fish! Again, you are limited only by your imagination - and any possible requirements of your reception venue! Some reception centres even offer decorations as part of your overall package and this can help relieve some of the pressure you may be feeling.
If you are having your ceremony in a place of worship, check with the presiding officiator to see if there are any limitations on the decorations you can bring in.
ENTERTAINMENT
Music is one of the key tools you have to personalise your wedding, and no wedding is complete without entertainment. The music you choose for your entrance and your first dance should be personal pieces that mean something to you and your partner - the music you play for the dancing segments of the evening should also appeal to both of you, but try not to ostracise too many of the guests by only playing one style of music. Weddings bring out the romance in everyone and people who you wouldn't normally expect to do so, will be heading for the dance floor.
Many DJ's bands, singers, duos, trios and classical ensembles are available for hire, and most offer a free recording of their material for you to review before you book them. Make sure you go over the order of the night, any playlists and your likes and dislikes with them before the night to ensure everything goes smoothly. Don't forget that meals for the band should be included in your catering - these are sometimes offered at a discounted rate.
MASTER OF CEREMONIES
The master of ceremonies (MC) is the host of your reception - they ensure everything happens when it should (eg speeches, first dance, cake cutting) making everything run smoothly. Many couples ask a confident family member or friend, which always lends a personal touch the proceedings; however, some reception venues provide an MC and many are available for hire should you want a professional on the night.
SEATING ARRANGEMENTS
Traditionally the bridal party are seated on one side of a long table. Many Australian weddings have the bride and groom sitting together with the bridesmaids and groomsmen at their respective sides; however the English tradition actually has the parents of the bride and groom interspersed amongst the bridal party.
A more modern arrangement involves the bridal party sitting at a round table with both their attendants and their attendants partners - with their parents close by at a table with their close friends and family. This helps ensure a more enjoyable night for all involved as they can share it with the ones they love.
The seating of the remainder of your guests requires careful thought, as does the layout of your tables - Is there enough room to walk between them? Can everyone see the MC? Is there enough space for the dance floor? The co-ordinator at the reception venue will generally be able to assist with many of these questions. Last but not least, a guest list should be posted on a board in the reception foyer so everyone is seated effortlessly.
TOASTS & SPEECHES
Toasts and speeches are a traditional and often enjoyable part of the wedding reception. The night begins with the MC giving the Loyal Toast, welcoming the guests and introducing the bridal party. For More information Refer to:
'Speeches'
THE GOWN
Ahhhh, the gown! Choosing your gown will be one of the most important decisions you will make. Many believe it is a key element of the wedding and it helps set the scene. When shopping, do not forget that the gown is often the most expensive single purchase of your wedding.
There are two general types of gowns; couture and 'off the rack'. Off the rack gowns are literally just that - off the rack. They generally range in price from in the hundreds to around $3000. They are made to standard sizes and often shops with resident dressmakers will alter them to fit you perfectly. These dresses are the way to go if you want to take your gown home the day you buy it.
'Couture' translates almost literally to 'made to measure'. These gowns occupy the upper end of the market, ranging in price from about $3000 to ... well ... just about anything depending on the designer. Couture shops will have a range of their standard styles for you to try on, and then your gown will be made to fit you perfectly with any alterations you ask for. If you want a couture gown, allow at least 3-6 months for it to be made.
An alternative is to go directly to a dress maker. Their services are often cheaper, sometimes knocking thousands off the price of a dress, and are the way to go for the bride who has a picture of the exact dress she wants. However if you're not quite sure, many dressmakers recommend you try on a range of styles prior to approaching them so you know what you like and what works on you.
Many bridal shops require you make an appointment if you want to try something on. This is because you're pretty much guaranteed you'll need help to get in and out of some of these dresses! Appointments generally go for about 30 minutes to an hour, and as most shops are only open from 10 until 4 on a Saturday, they're often booked out a couple weeks in advance, so get in early!
SHOES
Although your shoes should be comfortable and practical as you will be on your feet most of the day, do not forget the age old mantra 'the shoes maketh the outfit'! This is no less applicable to your wedding 'outfit' - just because the dress is long doesn't mean no one will see your shoes. In fact, it could just about be guaranteed that everyone will see a LOT of your shoes! Many specialty bridal shoe outlets will actually cover your chosen shoe with the same material as your wedding dress to ensure a perfect match on the day.
Low kitten heeled slingbacks are eternally popular with brides, but many are turning to strappy sandals to avoid the extra expense of recovering shoes. An essential tip is to wear your shoes around the house in the lead up to your wedding day to get used to the feel of them and to reduce the possibility of blisters. Also, if the base is slippery, considering getting a cobbler to put a rubber sole on them to ensure you don't slip over during your first dance!
Go to part II
Copyright, Our Day Pty Ltd, 2004
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Photos by Christopher Clinnick Photography
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